I totally forgot to mention that I don't need that PayPal loan anymore, I got things taken care of. Woo!

My phone charger is broken, which makes me very sad. I don't like going long periods of time without my phone, it makes me feel anxious and isolated.

My aunt brought me some giant calla lillies today (♥)... Seriously, they're like the size of my face. I love it.

Fang's tag came in today - it's cute. It has "FANG" written on the front in Celtic lettering with a heart under it, and my phone number on the back. I feel bad for him though because it weighs almost as much as he does. lol.

Almost all of the mice have their eyes open now. My cousin adopted the runt and named him Otto, after a character in a book. I feel bad for him because he's all skin and bones, I don't think the other ones let him eat. And I feel bad for the mom, too, because with 13 babies and only 6 nipples, she's getting ragged. Poor thing.

I have no life. ♥

Oh, and I've been making a ton of cell phone backgrounds. Most of them are just for me, but there are a few that were made for other people. I might put them up on my site later.

I find it sort of sad lately that I get more comfort from someone I barely know than I do from my girlfriend... That's a terrible thing to say. But there's someone who I know very little about who is there to comfort me when I'm upset, there to lift me up when I'm down, there to talk to me when I'm bored, and all sorts of things that my girlfriend just won't do... I feel like the worst girlfriend ever for even talking like that but honestly I'm not feeling much of anything from her lately...

Please don't get this confused and think that I mean I don't feel anything for her. I still love her with every part of me, and I still do want to spend the rest of my life with her. But lately she's been somewhere else and it's getting really frustrating.

I said something to this Other Girl the other day about how I was a bit upset that my girl's been so distant, and I was afraid I wouldn't get an "I love you, goodnight! :)" from my girl before going to bed. (There were whatever reasons that put in place that my girl couldn't or wouldn't call me, which I know I have to deal with, but it doesn't make it any easier.) And... I get a message back from Other Girl that says "I love you! Goodnight! There, now you got one :)" ... It's a sweet notion but it breaks my heart that there's this girl who I've only had anything to do with for like a week who shows me more attention and affection than the girl I've been in love with since I was 16. I suppose that's probably my fault somehow, but I'm trying as hard as I can just to get something without sounding needy or oversensitive. But... The truth is... Right now, I am needy and oversensitive.

Take for example when I say I love her (in a text message, of course) and she replies with "I love you!" ... Ordinarily I wouldn't see anything wrong with that, but she was kind enough to point out when she was here that it's one of her auto-messages. It just doesn't seem genuine if she has her phone automatically fill it in for her. I know, I know, I'm probably paranoid. It's probably just because her nails make it hard to type. But... come on. She can type out other big long messages just fine... and "I love you!" comes out by pushing like three buttons. (We have the exact same phone.)

I hate being an over-analytical girl sometimes. My brain tells me "Error! Error! There's something wrong!" when there probably isn't. Or, maybe there is and I'm just too stupid to see what it really is. Hmm.

Right Here Waiting -- Staind

I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending, it's as much as I can take
And you're so independent
You just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

Why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting

But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

I know it's old, but bear with me. I do have a method for choosing this as the Song of the Moment.

This song seems to fit my mood perfectly... It's odd. I've been feeling like this for a few days now. I even changed K's text/ringtone (and my call tone for everyone) to this song. Does anyone else have a song they'd like to share for the moment?

I'm thinking of starting Song of the Moment as a regular feature on my blog. I know it's a little odd for me to have a regular feature considering the typical nature of my blog, but I think that it would help me to be more focused. Maybe I should just do features on my main site. Make it more like a zine or something and less like a random jumble of information. Perhaps I could even start a second site just for "featured content", whether it's here on Xanga or on my main site. Or maybe on Wordpress, since I know I can update that from my phone. Hmm. We'll see.